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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of HEYDAY, Following the Landslide, Never Regret the Nights, and Forever's Not as Long as It Used to Be.
1. |
Going
05:55
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covered in debris
bombshells of reverie
detonate and explode on repeat
so this is how it goes
garden snake was a garden hose
I was only five or six whole years old
I was warned of boundaries
said, “this is you and this is me.”
wrapped in skin through which none of us
can break free
so we look opaque in light
turn translucent if tended right
still what’s real seems only so in
hindsight
and even gravity is learned
as I dangle sideways, taciturn
circling a dying sun
well, it barely burns
still it isn’t a defeat
I believe that totally
because even as the light that shone on you
was dimming
we were golden, golden
and you were going
golden, golden
and you were going
and I never knew
oh i never knew
no I never, never, no,
I never knew
oh, I never, never knew
no I never, never knew
i never, never, no,
well, I never knew
that we were golden
and it was golden
til you were going
(and i never, never knew)
golden
(no, I never, never knew)
‘til you were going
and you were gone...
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2. |
Let It Break
04:28
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there’s always been a crack
a tiny edge running through me and you
from front to back
zigzagging side to side
the way i deny that
we’re unsolvable mysteries
if i can push aside my doubts
and the ways you lie to me
If I brave a step closer
will the bottom drop out?
every time, again....
you say, “oh my love,
you know that’s not what I meant”
hope is in our grasp
but when my heart’s at stake
you just let it...
I’m an expert at defending you
to myself and to all my friends
It’s just that I really thought
that you and i
we could untangle the knots
before we reached our rope’s end
‘cause this love is true
i can see you don’t believe in it
so i can’t believe in you
and I finally shut the door
still you push on through
every time, again....
you say, “oh my love,
you know that’s not what I meant”
Hope is in our grasp
but when my heart’s at stake
you just let it...
and if there’s any bitterness
it’s just i resent you more because
for now, more or less
you’re the one thing in this life
of which I was sure
and then there’s that you
with both hands untied
and, oh, wide awake
what did you do?
when my heart was at stake
you just let it break
every time, again...
you say, “oh my love,
you know that’s not what I meant"
hope is in our grasp.
but then it falls away
every single time, again
I say “bless my soul
I know we won’t recover from this”
hope is out of grasp
‘cause when my heart’s at stake
you just let it break
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3. |
Here
04:03
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turning pages in this book
i wouldn't have made it past chapter three
without these scars on me
nearly 40 years it took
funny how I could never see
sinking in could set me free
and despite all the mistakes I’ve made
I'm still OK
and I'm here
yeah, I'm right here
and it's so surreal
‘cause the door's wide open
i'm not going
I'm staying here
not spinning my wheels
I'm feeling what I feel
and this fear is real
I'm still right here
desperate for attention
I used to have my pick of loves
but it was never enough
and if you came too close
that's what would really scare me the most
"why do you want to know?"
and even when i'm a mess
I can love myself
‘cause I'm here
yeah, I'm right here
and it's so surreal
I’m not getting my way
I'm still staying right here
not spinning my wheels
feeling what I feel
and this fear is real
and I'm still right here....
and I'm not going anywhere
and you can count on me
cause there’s no place on earth
I would rather be instead
I'm in tuning in to
really listen and be seen
and now I'm basking in the clarity
of just being me
CHORUS
I’m wide open
and I am right
here
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4. |
Comes & Goes
04:29
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well, I can't give it up
and I can't get my way
again, I've finally had enough
but this winter, it never stays
‘cause it comes and goes
and I can't make it stop
I could bleed out at this rate
apply pressure right to the top
'til your memory leaves a stain
'cause it comes and goes
yeah, it comes and goes
yeah, it comes and goes
and goes
has it really been years
since I've seen your face?
pictures come so clear
before they fade
it takes guts just to outgrow
what it robs me to believe
sometimes I just want to keep you close
but I find I don't have the strength
the strength comes and goes
it comes and goes
it comes and goes
and goes
and then I'm in your arms
just a little boy child
I will come to no harm
is the light you shine
the light comes and goes
it comes and goes
comes and goes
stay
won’t you stay?
won’t you stay?
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5. |
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there's blood on your hands
I could never keep
your mood upbeat enough
or my record clean
with your heart keeping score
in red, invisible ink
every time I moved
and I don't understand
who's the victim now
you just wanted in
before the other got out
now you're all over town
just laying it down
for any fool
but you'll never find it
when you're that desperate
you left a bad taste in my mouth
'cause you were the last one I'd ever doubt
you left a bad taste in my mouth
and you know it's you
I never lied to you
and I'll be damned
you held the bird
you crushed it in your little hands
when my back was turned
you got your big laugh
hey, but I'm not your fool
if you can't see
you're your own worst enemy
chorus
oh, god, it’s you
and you know the truth
and my birthday was fine
not that you would ask
you said we'd be friends
but that faded fast
like a finger-drawn heart
in our breath on glass
and our best laid plans
‘cause you loved me first
but I loved you last
and that left a bad taste in my mouth
'cause you were the last one I'd ever doubt
you left a bad taste in my mouth
and you know it's you
oh, god, it's you
it’s you, oh, god, it’s you
it’s you
and you know the truth
you know the truth
and you should have stood up for me
you should have stood up for me
for you
but there's blood on your hands now
(so much)
there’s blood on your hands
I'm not bleeding, no, no I’m not bleeding
(i’m not bleeding)
but there's blood on your hands
your hands, your hands
my blood
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6. |
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read your horoscope in the paper
the stars say you might fall in love
all this distance might make it feel safer
but you know I could never get close enough
i re-read that card you gave me
you wrote me the sweetest things in blue ink
i keep thinking you might be the one to come and save me
but, first, let’s have another drink
first things first, let's have another drink
because you take me as I am
you do that for me when I can't myself
and one of these days it’ll all fall in line
‘til then I'm following the landslide
and I woke up as you were leaving
and who the hell is supposed to know what that means
all I know is we're flesh and blood
we’re skin and bones
we’re scars and possibilities
I think these scars are my possibilities
so, when i told you that lie
I couldn't face my truth
when i stopped, looked around, and said
this can't be my life
I was using you as proof
I think you’ll always be some kind of proof
because you take me as I am
you do that for me when I can't myself
one of these days, it’ll all fall in line
‘til then I'm following the landslide
it’s you and me in the landslide
because you take me as I am
you do that for me when I can't myself
one of these days, it’ll all fall in line
‘til then I'm following the landslide
it’s just you and me in the landslide
this is a song from the landslide
blue ink made me think about everything
blue ink can make me want to cry
blue ink made me think about everything
blue ink and all the chances gone by
blue ink and you and me in the landslide
blue ink made me think about everything
blue ink can make me want to turn back time
blue ink made me think about everything
blue ink, I know we'll never say goodbye
it’s blue ink and you and me in the landslide
it’s blue ink you and me in the landslide
it’s blue ink you and me in the landslide
read your horoscope in the paper today
the stars say you might fall in love again
with me
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7. |
ILY (with Girlyman)
04:34
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wake up here in your bed
I can't believe what you said
then I get home, I’m back alone
yet still with you
on this ringing phone
and you said,
“I love you”
a few years on, a plane in flight
you take my hand, “it'll be alright”
sofa wars, hidden scars
is this how the end gets its start?
but still we said,
“I love you”
sacre coeur, bursting forth
you said you loved me more than I ever could know
with hands that hold and mouths that kiss
who could ever want more than this?
when heaven's right at our door
we won’t let it in
heaven’s right at our door
but the world it turns and so do we
from us to me - I'm alone, not lonely
your love goes on to someone new
but what we had is somehow just as true
but now you tell him,
“I love you”
(wake up here, in your bed, i can't believe...)
I love you
(then I get home, I'm back alone, yet still with you...
and I still say
I love you
(few years on, plane in flight, you take my hand...)
‘cause it will always be true
I will love you
(sofa wars, hidden scars...)
I'm wide open
I’m so open
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8. |
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one more thing to forget
shred my emotional evidence
tell me would you regret the night
if we had never met?
one more truth to invent
one more fish to reel in
one more way to pretend
this all means something
talk to me like I care
touch me like I'm really there
and I guess all I've ever learned
is that there's nothing as bad as being
alone in this world…
except wishing you were
one more thing for re-sale
one more way you learned to bail
one more dog wagged by its tail
into a busy street
one more man turned sour
meet me for unhappy hour
nothing can stop my flower
from blooming through concrete
chorus
one more love story truncated
will this emptiness ever be sated?
I hate being so complicated
but, hey man, oh, that's just how I am
so go, take it as far as you can
but I'm going to stay where I am
‘cause I can't be led like a lamb
to another slaughter
like I'm my mother's only daughter
like I'm my mother's only daughter
I’m not my mother's only daughter….
chorus
one more thing to forget
shred this emotional evidence
tell me would you regret the night
if we had never met?
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9. |
Rings (feat. Bo Shell)
03:36
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winter should be over by now
a chill still lingers, it's april's end
I pull on my coat, it’s my favorite one
and we should be over by now
strings still linger, let's not pretend
I pull on your heart, it’s my favorite one
it's my favorite one
and I still wear your ring when I get lonely
and I fall into so many things without knowing
my heart is going blind: because it’s the same place
but it’s a different time…
I am my father’s son
a truth cut in two still feels like one
and, oh god, when I was confused,
oh, how I’d run
but now that's through
CHORUS
I close the door with our room behind it
I put away anything in your handwriting
I turn back the clock and all of its bad timing
and I forget the things you just couldn't say...
ao if it’s all the same
I think it's all the same
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10. |
You Don't Know
04:22
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Gonna sit myself down
Gonna give myself a good talking to this time
Gonna turn this ship around
because it’s just the right thing to do
no no no no no more excuses
but you can listen in if you want to
but i warn you I might get curious
and not defensive
and maybe I’ll just notice what’s going on
and maybe you’ll get pensive
when you hear me say
Chorus
You don’t know how much I need you
You don’t know how much you mean, do you, to me
no no no no no no
I keep the lights down low
So you don’t have to see my face
if you decide to go
And we break our own hearts these days
anyway
over and over and
over and over and over
and over and over
but it’s OK,
because I’m finally OK
being me and alone, me and alone
being alone, being alone is OK
so you can go or you can stay
but there’s no trap door this time...
You don’t know how much I need you
You don’t know how much you mean, do you, to me
You don’t know how much I bleed for you
but I’m finally coming clean
You don’t know how much i grieve
I grieve, I grieve, I grieve for us
I grieve for us...
so please please please
Can we talk about something else other than us?
Can we talk about, can we talk about something else than all this stuff?
Can we talk about, can we talk about something else than what we lost?
Can we talk about, can we talk about something else than who’s to blame for this mess?
Can we talk about something else, can we talk about something else?
Can we talk about something else, can we talk about something else?
Can we talk about something else, can we talk about something else?
and just fix this?
Get off our asses and just fix this...
You don’t know how much I need you everyday of the week
You don’t know how much you mean, do you, to me
no no no no no no
You don’t know how much I bleed for you, but I’m finally coming clean, oh
You don’t know how much I believe in us
I believe, I believe, I believe in us...
I believe in us...
I believe in us...
So I sat myself down
and gave myself a good talking to this time
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11. |
Gone
04:47
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I keep looking at the sky
I keep staring at the sky
and no matter how bright the sun
is when it shines
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
I keep staring at the chair
I keep watching the chair
but no matter how many times
you’ve been sitting there
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
I keep looking at the phone
I keep checking on my phone
and no matter how many times
it’s told me you’d be coming home
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
I keep watching the glass
I keep tipping back my glass
and tonight no matter much wine
between my lips comes to pass
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
when you’re gone, you’re gone, gone
I still love
I believe in love
and I still love
I still love
when you’re gone, gone, gone
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